This week for me has been kind of like a long roller coaster ride. I had mentioned in my last post that something really great might happen in my life and I would find out more on the 2nd, but yesterday kind of started on a high but ended on a cautious low.
Jon of A Penny Sleeve for your Thoughts commented on that post that he thought it might be a new baby, and well, he was right. Around a month ago, my wife Karen took a pregnancy test and it was positive. We already have a 4-year old son, and it has just been such a hard thing with all of my wife’s issues with the excess cerebral spinal fluid/shunts/blood clot issues that we honestly didn’t think we were going to be able to have another one. Kyler is truly an unexpected blessing, and we were so happy when we had him 4 years ago, that although we were trying like crazy to get him a sibling, that we were almost at the point of giving up hope.
Well, we had an ultrasound yesterday, and it did confirm that there was a baby there. However, for the time frame that they calculated that she had been pregnant, the doctor thought that it was undersized and that the heartbeat was weak, and feared that we might miscarry. They also said that they could’ve just got the timing wrong, so they want us to come back for another ultrasound on Friday the 12th so they can measure it again and check the heartbeat again. This should give us a better clue as to if they just got the time of conception wrong and if everything is good or if we indeed have something to worry about.
There have been a bunch of emotions since then. I will have that Friday off and I’m going to go to the appointment, but it is going to be a huge gamble. It could be one of the greatest days of my life and everything could be fine, but if the doctors worst fears are confirmed, it could turn out to be a really bad day. I know I need to be there for Karen no matter what, and that I wouldn’t be able to function 100% at work if I wasn’t off.
This is going to be one of the longest weeks of my life. I do know that no matter what happens that we were truly blessed and lucky to have Kyler. We really didn’t think Karen would get pregnant the first time. I was nervous about being a dad the first time, but this time, it just feels right and I haven’t looked forward to something like this in a long, long time. I feel like being a dad is part of what I was made to do in my life. I think I’m ready for whatever happens. If it’s good news, I’m going to be so excited and start preparing for all of the fun baby stuff again. If not, I just know that something good is going to come of it, and although it is going to be sad and devastating, that I have been lucky. I know people who have lost a child at the age of 5, people who have lost it while giving birth, and if this child isn’t meant to be with us that at least we weren’t too attached to it. This may sound cold, and don’t get me wrong, I’m pretty attached. We have pictures from the ultrasound that will be a lasting memory no matter what. I guess I’m saying that it could be worse. If the worst does happen, I just want to use it to help others who are going to be in a similar situation. That is the only was that good will come out of it.
I’ve been working on the binders through all of this, and besides the special ones (Rays, Tigers, Favorite Players, highlights, rookies/sunsets, game-used/shiny/numbered cards), I just have the White Sox, Indians, Royals, Angels, Twins, Athletics, Mariners, Rangers, and Blue Jays left to organize. I’ve already cleared out 1 monster 5000 count box of cards, and am almost halfway through the other one. I’ll probably store all of my Yankees and doubles in them once they are cleared. Today I finished the Giants binders and watched some MLB Network. Was hoping to catch a spring training game, but nothing today or yesterday. Maybe the next off day I have or after work in the near future. Sorry no card photos in this post. I’ll probably post some next time, but I will leave you with this photo.