The end is near (maybe)

 I tend to be the type of person who faces change and imagines the worst possible outcome. Some of the time, it will turn out to be true, but many times, it isn’t. Don’t know if I can help it or not, but I just try to see the worst possible outcome and try to plan against it and resist the change as much as I can.  

Well, the end is near, folks. Long story short, my mother in law is moving in with us either this month or early May. It’s technically her house and we are paying her the money for the mortgage and she is paying the bank, and we are trying to get our credit up enough to where she can sign it over to us. So essentially we can’t kick her out and I’m just imagining the worst. Mark my words people. It has been stated to at she is going to try to save money and try to get into an assisted living community. She says she isn’t going to be messy and store too much of her crap here. She says she will let us discipline Kyler without putting her 2 cents in afterwards. She says we are going to have date nights once a week and won’t tag along when we leave the house. I’m telling you right now it’s going to be longer than 6 months. She won’t save money. She won’t clean. She will have boxes of crap clogging up the garage and making my baseball cards impossible to get to. She will constantly speak over us when Kyler needs disciplining. The date nights will last 2 months. She will never leave us alone. 

I may be imagining the worst, but I know at least some of those things will happen and I want to stop this move more than ever for the sake of my sanity and my marriage. 

I can see my fun skipping away. Karen is a shell of herself right now. Can’t breathe and really do normal activities. She has a lump in her stomach that they are doing a biopsy on. They did an ultrasound a few weeks ago, and when we looked up some of the medical terms in the report, many of them said the outcome is 5 years at best. I’m tired as hell but ageeed to take on more responsibility at the house and both of us are just dying. Tired as hell and don’t know how to make our life work anymore. Work is stressing her out as being a manager she is getting crap from employees and corporate. They constantly bug her at home and she can’t be present while she is worrying about work. It’s not like either of us can quit as she is making really good money that is letting us pay rent, bills and stuff, and while my job is making 80,000 or so less than hers, it gives us very good insurance. I don’t think we could make it if she went back to a nursing job and I don’t know what the hell I could do for work other than maybe a cashier or warehouse, but that might give me a Buck or two more an hour, but not the insurance. I feel trapped. 

Right now Karens  brother is about to come over and help straighten up our garage so Karens mom can store some crap in it. I fear this will be the last time I can even get to my cards as I’m going to have to stack monster boxes on top of each other in order to make more space. I’m sure they will put crap in front of it and I just really want to get it my cards and be able to organize them to get some sanity back. 

We went to Wal-Mart last night and I got what could be the last blaster for a while as I will have no where to put them after today. 

Nothing too impressive, just a blaster of ‘22 Prizm for 10 bucks. The Ripken insert is nice. 

No Rays, Tigers, or guys I collect, but the parallels are nice. Joe Ryan hurts me. Rays gave him up for 2 unimpressive months of a steroid free Nelson Cruz. The Green Muncy is set aside for Night Owl and the Red White & Blue Acuna is for Johnny’s Trading Spot, but all the rest are up for grabs. 

While it may not be the last cards I get and I may be able to get to my boxes, I am still prepared for the worst. I really hope it ends up being a short stay and we can somehow up our credit and maybe even end this whole nightmare and buy a new house a few hours away. Maybe we will figure out all this medical mess with Karen. Maybe I can get some rest and we can get the house in running order. Maybe instead of sending me cards, send me liquor. I’ll take any ideas. This thought cycle is going to make me crazy and I don’t know how to fix it. 

Thanks for supporting me through this crap and for still reading my blog even though some times I put to much life crap on it and not enough cards. Maybe someday I’ll come out of this and maybe grow some and it will all work out. I just really don’t want the way my life is right now (besides all of the medical and caretaking frustration) to end. 

Thanks for checking out my latest post. 

-Jeremy